My challenge for you this week promises to be totally and completely fun and, at the same time, totally and completely frustrating. My invitation is for you to begin hearing and acknowledging all of the qualifiers that you use when you talk. Hear qualifiers when you speak like “uh,” “so” for example.
The most common utterance used in the English language is “uh.” When you say “uh” or when you say, “so…” or when you say “what I mean is…” you are creating distractions from what it is that you truly intend for the listener to hear. You are distracting yourself from your true intent and you are distracting your listeners.
When I began the Parkinsons Recovery radio program, it took some months to become familiar with how my voice sounded to me when I edited the recordings. What I heard was not what I was accustomed to hearing when I talk. The true surprise as it turns out was the many, many qualifiers that I use when I talk. Quite frankly, I was shocked.
I began counting the number of “uhh…uhh…uhs” that I used when I talked and I was flabbergasted. What I’d like to invite you to do is to begin noticing as you talk how many qualifiers you use when you speak.
A second invitation which has the promise to be quite fun is to engage a family member or friend in this particular challenge. Ask them for a day, an evening or an afternoon to catch each and every qualifier that you use. Of course you could ask them to be very specific and to alert you as to when you use a very specific qualifier like “uh,” or you could simply ask them to raise a finger every time you use any particular phrase that they believe is a qualifier.
Instead of alerting you each time you could ask a family member or friend to make a secret count. For example, as you begin dinnertime they could see how many qualifiers you have used they can tally up by the end of the meal.
Please don’t be overwhelmed by this assignment, because if this is all you are mindful about, it could potentially drive you nuts. Again, I was personally shocked by what I discovered when I began listening to myself on the radio show.
Another possibility you may want to consider is to record yourself when you actually talk, even in casual conversations and then listen to the recording afterward. It is likely you will discover just as I did that you do use many qualifiers when you talk. This week, then, become mindful of all of those distracting words — those unnecessary words — that add nothing to your true intent. Notice those distractions when you converse with another person. Include in this challenge certain profanity words that really do not add to the point that you are intending to make (unless of course they help to emphasize your meaning!).
Have fun and please do not be completely frustrated with this. I hope you find it to be an exhilarating assignment which invites to become much more mindful of each and every word that you speak. Your thoughts are precious to others and to yourself. Treat them as such.
Robert
© Parkinsons Recovery